^{Source: Investopedia}

From Bank Teller to Homeowner to Healer

When I first stepped into the world of finance as a 21-year-old bank teller, I was surrounded by driven colleagues and high-net-worth clients. Their confidence and control over money weren’t just inspiring—they were life-changing for someone like me, who didn’t grow up with financial stability.

I devoured every personal finance book I could find, studied credit scores like they were sacred texts, and focused fiercely on saving. By the age of 26, I achieved what once felt impossible: I bought my first home.

It should have been a celebratory moment. But instead, it triggered something deep and unsettling—an intense wave of fear, anxiety, and doubt. That’s when I realized: I was experiencing financial trauma.

What Is Financial Trauma?

Financial trauma is a psychological and emotional response to past financial hardship, instability, or scarcity. It’s not just about money—it’s about what money represents: safety, worthiness, control, and even identity.

Research from the Financial Therapy Association reveals that over 60% of Americans have experienced some form of financial trauma—whether from growing up in poverty, facing eviction, or navigating job insecurity. These early wounds don’t just vanish when you start earning more. In fact, sometimes the more financially secure you become, the more anxious you feel—because you’re waiting for the rug to be pulled out from under you again.

When Money Triggers the Fear of Success

You’ve got a solid job, you’re making good money, maybe even eyeing a new investment property or a promotion. But deep down, you feel paralyzed. Every time you get close to reaching a major financial goal, you pull back—or worse, sabotage yourself.

That was me at 26. Despite being approved for a mortgage and ready to move into my dream home, I had multiple panic attacks and nearly canceled the purchase several times. What if I couldn’t afford the repairs? What if I failed as a homeowner?

I traced the fear back to my childhood—the memory of an eviction notice taped to our apartment door. Owning a home wasn’t just about real estate—it was about rewriting a story I’d been told my whole life: “This isn’t for people like us.”

The 3 E’s Framework: A Path to Financial Healing

As a financial therapist today, I help clients face these fears using a method I call The 3 E’s: Exposure, Education, Execution. Here’s how it works:

1. Exposure: Name the Beast

The first step is awareness. That tightening in your chest when checking your bank account? That’s not just anxiety—it might be financial PTSD. Naming the emotion gives you power over it. Labeling your fear, shame, or distrust makes it something you can confront rather than something that controls you.

According to a 2023 study by the American Psychological Association, naming your emotions can reduce their intensity by up to 45%. This is true for financial emotions too.

2. Education: Dismantle the Mystery

Once you’ve identified your emotional roadblocks, it’s time to understand the systems triggering them. This could mean learning how credit scores are calculated, what mortgage lenders look for, or how financial advisors work.

For me, education was a turning point. I learned how to optimize my credit utilization rate, how to compare fixed vs. variable mortgage rates, and how to build an emergency fund with three to six months of expenses. Knowledge gives you control—and control combats fear.

3. Execution: Build and Breathe

This is where you take action—but mindfully. Yes, this might include working with a financial planner or sticking to a budget. But it should also include emotional tools: journaling, working with a therapist, meditating before financial decisions, or practicing breathing exercises to ground yourself.

One of my clients started keeping a “Financial Wins” journal—where she logs every progress point, from increasing her savings rate to simply paying a bill on time without anxiety. It changed her relationship with money completely.

Breaking Generational Patterns

Unresolved trauma doesn’t just haunt you—it gets passed down. Studies from Northwestern University found that children of parents with financial instability often inherit their money behaviors, even if their financial situation improves.

That means overspending, hoarding cash, avoiding investments, or fearing risk might not be your fault—it might be your legacy. But the good news? You can change the script.

The Invisible Walls We Don’t See

Sometimes fear isn’t loud—it’s quiet. You freeze instead of acting. You delay making investment decisions, avoid checking your bank balance, or obsessively worry over “what if” scenarios:

• What if the market crashes?
• What if I buy a home and a pipe bursts the next day?
• What if I never make enough to retire?

These are emotional triggers—not logical ones. And they deserve the same attention we give physical health or career goals.

What Helped Me Heal

My breakthrough came when I stopped isolating myself. I talked about my fears with friends, family, and mentors. Their support reminded me that I wasn’t alone—that even the most confident people struggle with money-related anxiety.

I also leaned into mindfulness: breathwork, yoga, journaling, and intentional movement. These weren’t financial tools, but they helped me regulate emotionally, so I could think more clearly and act with confidence.

Money Is Emotional—And That’s Okay

We often treat money like it’s just math. But it’s not.

It’s tied to our upbringing, relationships, trauma, and self-worth. And while there’s no one-size-fits-all fix, tools like the 3 E’s can help you unravel your unique story and start rewriting a better one.

Final Thoughts: You Deserve Financial Peace

Healing your relationship with money isn’t a destination—it’s a journey. But it’s worth it.

By doing this work, you not only improve your own life—you model financial emotional health for your children, your community, and even future generations.

So the next time you’re scared to take that next big step—ask yourself: Is this fear based in my present… or my past?

And then take one small, brave step forward.

‍